This post from Cracked (forwarded by Greggory) offers some insights into the realities of a record deal. To pique your curiosity, let me summarize:
7. Labels hunt for unique voices
6. They have minions for you.
5. Labels convince naive kids that they’re rock stars.
4. They are casting a role.
3. You write songs by committee
2. It’s a ridiculous numbers game
1. There is a blessing for one-hit wonders in 2014
You must be curious now, right? Read the whole thing here.