A solution to a problem no one has: An app that makes your MP3s sound like they’re playing on cassette

The vile cassette: an outdated technology that needs to die forever. I’ll say it again: anyone who is nostalgic for the cassette wasn’t around when it was the only way to make your music portable. We do NOT need to go back to that era. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the technological equivalent of the outhouse.

Yet there are some poor people who pine for the days of the Sony Walkman and the glories of listening to music riddled with tape hiss. Yes, the Walkman was a revolutionary device, but that was 1979. We should move on.

Up until now, the only way to experience this substandard way of listening to music, the only way was to troll eBay for vintage cassette players. But not anymore.

A site called WebCassette will accept your MP3s and degrade them to the level of old-school cassette listening. You can even adjust the controls to make your pristine digital files sound worse. Want to hear what your music sounds like on premium chromium oxide tape or one of those cassettes that you bought in bulk? Need a cassette player with a crappy motor that doesn’t keep to a constant speed? How about a machine with cheap playback heads. It’s all here for you.

Why anyone would want to willingly degrade MP3s–which sound crap to begin with–to the level of shitty late 70s/early 80s cassette audio is beyond me. But then again, maybe it’ll make you appreciate how far technologic has come.

Click on the image to get started. If you must.