Chinese Army Gets Karaoke Upgrade. We Cannot Tolerate a Karoake Gap!

When I read this story, I immediately thought of General Buck Turgidson in Dr. Strangelove when he wails “Mr. President, we must not allow a mineshaft gap!” Were he still alive (or real), General Buck would be apoplectic at the prospect of the Chinese army having this new advantage.  Yes, there is now a karaoke gap.  From Bloomberg Business Week:

Chinese soldiers will soon need larger, roomier tanks. With a richer diet of meat and dairy, the average soldier has grown two centimeter’s taller and added five centimeters to his waistline over the past 20 years, according to a report earlier this year in the PLA Daily.

Now the official paper of China’s 2.3 million troops offers a look at the cultural and musical needs of China’s People’s Liberation Army. Military officials plan to double expenditures on boom boxes, karaoke machines, and electronic musical instruments.

The improvements in “grass-roots army culture equipment” are intended to “meet the spiritual and cultural needs of officers and soldiers,” PLA Daily explained. Loudspeakers and new cameras for China’s uniformed shutterbugs will also be provided. The newspaper did not disclose the new budget for cultural equipment.

But that’s not all. Apparently belting out karaoke numbers is good preparation for troops facing hostilities, too. The new equipment will also “boost combat competitiveness of troops” and “promote a strong army able to achieve significant goals,” the paper explained.

Be afraid.  Very afraid.

Alan Cross

is an internationally known broadcaster, interviewer, writer, consultant, blogger and speaker. In his 40+ years in the music business, Alan has interviewed the biggest names in rock, from David Bowie and U2 to Pearl Jam and the Foo Fighters. He’s also known as a musicologist and documentarian through programs like The Ongoing History of New Music.

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