The Most Depressing Music News You’ll Hear Today Involves Paris Hilton

I thought the human race had finally moved beyond Paris Hilton’s famous-because-I’m-famous excreta.  But apparently not.

Paris has not only turned into a club DJ, but a much-sought-after one, too.  When she claimed to TMZ that she was one of the top five highest-paid DJs in the world, TMZ laughed–and then did some digging.

Dammit, she might be right.

First, she has a huge contract with a club in Ibiza.  Why? Because when she appears, the place is packed.  For weeks on end.  She’s also much in-demand in Moscow.

So how much is she getting paid?  Somewhere between $100,000 and $350,000 per hour of spinning.  PER F**KING HOUR!

There is no hope for humanity.  Please, Skynet, come save us.