Look, I know that Eurovision is incomprehensible to many and you might wonder about my obsession with it. My interest is strictly in how weird things can get. Damn, it’s entertaining. Here’s a summary of everything to this point by the Popbitch newsletter.
“Tomorrow night is the Eurovision Grand Final and this year we’re delighted to tell you that all the mad shit made it through to the Saturday. Without juries to oversee the semis, there’s been a real end-of-term, teacher-lost-control energy to this year’s qualifiers. We’re talking Croatian drag punk, Moldovan folk rave, a Finnish Human Centipede, Serbian insomnia nightmares, Australian prog-metal, the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe and more.
“As ever, we’ve written a full song-by-song guide to take you through everything – and crammed it with loads of info, jokes, gossip and plenty of stuff that the hosts won’t tell you. It’s been FULLY UPDATED for the grand final and formatted to fit neatly on your phone.”
A few other Popbitch thoughts:
“CROATIA: We’ve told you about all the times they’ve stuffed corks up their arses before, but Let3 are promising to perform naked over the final credits if they win. (There’s some genuine nervousness that they’re going to jump the gun and get their todgers out for the actual show too – but there’s more than enough going on on stage without their c**** and balls getting thrown into the mix).
“GERMANY: Bulge-watchers who missed Ireland’s semi on Tuesday will still have something to look forward to on Saturday. Germany’s front man has been wearing a very figure-hugging outfit for rehearsals and word from backstage is that it looks ‘like he’s stuffed a tabby cat down there.'”
How can you NOT want to watch?
After two rounds of semifinals this week, we have the finalists for tomorrow’s big playdown at Liverpool’s M&S Bank Arena. Tens of millions of people will tune in for the finale of an event that dates back to 1956.
This is what happened with the first semifinal on Tuesday.
And this is what happened last night.
- 🇦🇹 Austria | Teya & Salena – Who The Hell Is Edgar?
- 🇵🇹 Portugal | Mimicat – Ai Coração
- 🇨🇭 Switzerland | Remo Forrer – Watergun
- 🇵🇱 Poland | Blanka – Solo
- 🇷🇸 Serbia | Luke Black – Samo Mi Se Spava
- 🇫🇷 France: La Zarra – Évidemment
- 🇨🇾 Cyprus | Andrew Lambrou – Break A Broken Heart
- 🇪🇸 Spain: Blanca Paloma – Eaea
- 🇸🇪 Sweden | Loreen – Tattoo
- 🇦🇱 Albania | Albina & Familja Kelmendi – Duje
- 🇮🇹 Italy: Marco Mengoni – Due Vite
- 🇪🇪 Estonia | Alika – Bridges
- 🇫🇮 Finland | Käärijä – Cha Cha Cha
- 🇨🇿 Czechia | Vesna – My Sister’s Crown
- 🇦🇺 Australia | Voyager – Promise
- 🇧🇪 Belgium | Gustaph – Because Of You
- 🇦🇲 Armenia | Brunette – Future Lover
- 🇲🇩 Moldova | Pasha Parfeni – Soarele şi Luna
- 🇺🇦 Ukraine: TVORCHI – Heart of Steel
- 🇳🇴 Norway | Alessandra – Queen of Kings
- 🇩🇪 Germany: Lord of the Lost – Blood & Glitter
- 🇱🇹 Lithuania | Monika Linkytė – Stay
- 🇮🇱 Israel | Noa Kirel – Unicorn
- 🇸🇮 Slovenia | Joker Out – Carpe Diem
- 🇭🇷 Croatia | Let 3 – Mama ŠČ!
- 🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Mae Muller – I Wrote A Song
Want to watch?