Digital Music News claims to have a major scoop: the sale of Spotify to an unspecified buyer for $14 billion US. News will supposedly break next Wednesday the Wall Street Journal.
The story reads pretty seriously:
Spotify is preparing to be acquired at a price tag ‘north of $14 billion,’ according to multiple sources now speaking with Digital Music News. Signatures and final approvals are ‘exceptionally close,’ with an announcement carefully planned for exactly one week from now, according to one dealmaker.
The buyer is not being disclosed, though the Wall Street Journal is already preparing a front page story for next Wednesday morning. The article will symbolically be available only to paying subscribers.
Wow, huh? And if you keep reading
According to the details of this momentous plan, shared under strict confidence with Digital Music News, YouTube has agreed to stop showing free music videos entirely if Spotify agrees to close its free access tier at the same time. The unilateral move will make listening to free music far more difficult for casual music fans, and millions of Spotify and YouTube listeners will be shocked to find free streaming music completely shut off, effective next Wednesday.
The plan is expected to mint several million paying subscribers overnight, and substantially change the music industry balance sheet in the process.
Holy shit! Really? The story also details a deal between the RIAA and Russia that will see all illegal torrent sites shut down. Taylor Swift, Napster c0-founder Sean Paker, Department of Homeland Security special advisor Douglas Stamper and Universal Music Group’s Rob Wells are all mention as being parties to this action.
And this is all set to come down next Wednesday? This is gonna completely chance the dynamic of the music industry worldwide! Let me circle the date on my calend–
Oh, wait. Never mind.