What? The MTV Video Music Awards Were Last Night? Did Anyone Care?

Poor MTV. With its musical soul ripped out long ago, the network insists on trying to remain musically relevant with its annual Video Music Awards. But in what could be the dumbest attempt at counter-programming this century, this year’s awards were run up against the season seven finale of Game of Thrones.

Duh. It’s not like this was a surprise, people. That’s why people are going “What? There was an MTV thing on TV last night?” I haven’t seen the overnight ratings yet, but I’m sure they were abysmal. (Here’s a quick summary of the best and worst of the evening._

In the interests of covering the news–and outside of Reading/Leed and Taylor Swift, there’s not much going on in the news music-wise today–here are the winners from last night’s ceremony. If you care, of course.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Ed Sheeran

MICHAEL JACKSON VIDEO VANGUARD AWARD
P!nk

BEST NEW ARTIST
Presented by Taco Bell®
Khalid

BEST COLLABORATION
Zayn & Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”

BEST POP
Fifth Harmony ft. Gucci Mane – “Down”

BEST HIP HOP
Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”

BEST DANCE
Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”

BEST ROCK
Twenty One Pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”

BEST FIGHT AGAINST THE SYSTEM [Note: There’s something about the way this was presented that seemed…exploitive.)
Logic ft. Damian Lemar Hudson – “Black SpiderMan”
The Hamilton Mixtape – “Immigrants (We Get the Job Done)”
Big Sean – “Light”
Alessia Cara – “Scars To Your Beautiful”
Taboo ft. Shailene Woodley – “Stand Up / Stand N Rock #NoDAPL”
John Legend – “Surefire”

SONG OF SUMMER
Presented by Verizon
Lil Uzi Vert — “XO Tour Llif3”

PROFESSIONAL CATEGORIES

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”
Cinematographer: Scott Cunningham

BEST DIRECTION
Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”
Director: Dave Meyers & the little homies

BEST ART DIRECTION
Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”
Production Designer: Spencer Graves

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”
VFX Editor: Company: Timber/Lead: Jonah Hall

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Kanye West – “Fade”
Choreographers: Teyana Taylor, Guapo, Matthew Pasterisa, Jae Blaze & Derek Watkins

BEST EDITING
Young Thug – “Wyclef Jean”
Editor: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini

PERFORMANCES

KATY PERRY FT. NICKI MINAJ – “Swish Swish”

P!nk
“Get The Party Started”
“Raise Your Glass”
“So What”
“Just”

KENDRICK LAMAR – “DNA” + “HUMBLE.”

SIR ROD STEWART FT. DNCE – “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy”

ED SHEERAN & LIL UZI VERT– “Shape Of You” + “XO Tour Lilf3”

MILEY CYRUS – “Younger Now”

LOGIC FT. KHALID – “1-800-273-8255”

DEMI LOVATO – “Sorry Not Sorry”

THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS – “Walk On Water”

FIFTH HARMONY FT. GUCCI MANE – “Angel” + “Down”

SHAWN MENDES – “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back”

LORDE – “Homemade Dynamite”

KYLE – “iSpy”

ALESSIA CARA – “Scares To Your Beautiful”

JULIA MICHAELS – “Issues”