Newly minted metal singer William Shatner has released his rider for his debut appearance at Riot Fest
William Shatner, who is 95, will soon become the oldest human to release a metal album. Its title and timing are still TBA, but we do know that he’s agreed to perform at Riot Fest in Chicago this September. He’ll be onstage alongside The Pixies, Tool, Iggy Pop, Bad Religion, Angine de Poitrine, and many others.
Like any proper metalhead, Shatner has some wild demands for his backstage rider. Let’s take a look.
- He wants a boat named after him. He misses being a captain.
- The Shat likes to eat. He wants a famous Chicago food item (pizza? hotdog?) named afer him.
- A TV station must offer him a co-anchor spot doing the weather.
- He has to be able to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at a Chicago baseball game.
- For his performance, he will require fire breathers (“many of them”), a DeLorean to get around the concert site, and an intro video created by GWAR.
- Backstage, his dressing room must be labelled “Shatner’s Shag Shack.” And there better be “four feet of Polish sausage” and a bowl of sauerkraut waiting for him.
- A Montreal Canadiens jersey signed by John Stamos must be provided.
- Eight pallets of Faygo. It must remain safe from Insane Clown Posse.
- “An assortment of adorable puppies, sourced from a reputable local animal rescue nonprofit.”
- Some “dainty” flower arrangements.
Let’s hear from Shatner himself.
Here’s the official document.
