The Official Supplier of Toilet Paper to Beyoncé

Mrs. Carter has delicate sensibilities when it comes to down there.  Word is that only red toilet paper will do.  It’s in her rider.  Why?  No idea.

Renova, a European company famous for catering to the hygienic needs of people with too much money, have prepared a special welcoming gift for Queen Bey on the occasion of her latest trip to Toronto.  I quote from the press release:

“With a welcome gift fit for Queen Bey, Renova has sent a gold tray topped with rolls of its famous red toilet paper, and an offer to outfit Beyoncé’s loo for the remainder of the tour.

“We understand how important it is to have all of your comforts met while on tour, and since Beyoncé enjoys a glammed bathroom we are happy to provide her with the very best,” said Paulo Pereira da Silva, Renova President and CEO.  “We’re thrilled to have Beyoncé back in Toronto and want to make her stay as pleasurable as possible.” 

In case there’s a discerning anus on your Christmas list, note that Renova TP also comes in black, fuchsia, blue, purple and orange. It’s always three-ply, always lightly scented and always with a touch of moisturizing lotion.  You’re welcome.

Alan Cross

is an internationally known broadcaster, interviewer, writer, consultant, blogger and speaker. In his 30+ years in the music business, Alan has interviewed the biggest names in rock, from David Bowie and U2 to Pearl Jam and the Foo Fighters. He’s also known as a musicologist and documentarian through programs like The Ongoing History of New Music.

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