Andre Johnson–sometimes known as Christ Bearer–is buddies with the guys in Wu-Tang Clan. He had an especially bad day on April 16. By the time it was over, he had cut off his penis and jumped from a second-story balcony. And much to his disappointment, he survived.
Now he’d like to explain himself.
Johnson was very depressed because of a restraining order that preventing him from seeing his two daughters. He tried to chill out with a few spliffs while he read a book about monks and vasectomies. Somehow all this came together in a plan to cut off his dick and then jump to his death.
It didn’t work, of course. In case you’re wondering, the errant member was retrieved and plastic surgeons were able to reattach things. He says it’s fully functional.
(Via The New York Post)