It’s a lovely day here in Albany, Western Australia, as I tap this out overlooking the Southern Ocean. It’s a crisp 22 degrees, there’s not a cloud in the sky and I think I just saw a dolphin do something…dolphin-y about 100 metres out. Yet I cannot overcome a feeling of trepidation about the people who live on this continent.
Last week, news came about a Spotify survey released just in time for Valentine’s Day. The question was simple: What songs do Aussies most enjoying banging to? Here’s what came back:
Cantina Band (from the Star Wars: A New Hope Soundtrack) – John Williams
Birthday Sex – Jeremih
Sex (Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam) – Cheat Codes
Sex With Me – Bonus Track – Rihanna
Pony – Ginuwine
Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon
Often – The Weeknd
Earned It (from the Fifty Shades Of Grey Soundtrack) – The Weeknd
Thinkin Bout You – Frank Ocean
Slow Motion – Trey Songz
If you made it past the first selection, you weren’t concentrating. According to Spotify, this is the sexiest song for sex in Australia. It is the favourite sex jam for the entire continent.
People around me must wonder why I’ve got this confused, slightly scared look on my face. It’s not like I can, you know, tell them why I’m looking at them weird.
Okay, okay, someone must have gamed Spotify. But how? And surely Spotify would know that someone is screwing with the data and fix the results before releasing them. Or maybe not. Maybe these results are accurate.
What’s wrong with you, Australia? Everything okay? Something you wanna tell us?