Top Ten Anti-Valentine’s Day Songs

I don’t really have anything against Valentine’s Day. Sure it’s a bit of cash grab and I do think you should show your appreciation and romantic efforts to your significant other through out the year as opposed to one day but you know, having a reminder day can be a good thing too.

But for those of you who are single or just plain hate Valentine’s Day, we’ve got your playlist. Songs about how love sucks, broken hearts and crappy flowers. This is our Top Ten Anti-Valentine’s Day Songs!

10) Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear The Reaper

Okay, I’m going to lay it out for everyone. Romeo and Juliet weren’t romantic, they were stupid teenagers full of hormones and due to the time period, probably had bad teeth. Picture kissing medieval Shane MacGowan. Yeah, that sounds romantic doesn’t it?

9) Fleetwood Mac – Go Your Own Way

This song chronicles love gone wrong, love triangles and relationship apathy. I’m pretty sure there are cards for all of those things.

8) Prince – When You Were Mine

http://youtu.be/ot5badwAYu8

Prince’s ballad of a lost love, who loved the girl so much he gave in to every demand. And she didn’t even bother to change the sheets after cheating on him. Sheesh, some people don’t have any respect. (Prince doesn’t like his stuff on youtube so I had to use this awesome Tegan and Sara cover).

7) Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart

Ian Curtis was torn between his wife and his mistress. If this song doesn’t say love hurts, I don’t know what does.

6) Puddle of Mudd – She Hates Me

A very good example of a relationship going bad, Puddle of Mudd don’t seem to know much but they know what a bad relationship is.

5) William Shatner’s rendition of Cee-Lo Green’s BLEEP You!

This song was a great addition to Anti-Valentine’s Day songs before Captain Kirk performed it but Shatner kicked it up several notches with this performance.  It just has a little more spite to it. But if you want a kid friendly version, there’s also this:

4) Eminem – Kim

http://youtu.be/TNXYvidMaTM

An ode to his ex, Eminem finds out about his wife cheating so he drags her out into the woods, tortures, kills and buries her. Just an old fashioned love song.

3) J. Giles – Love Stinks

You had to know this one was included on the list. The ultimate song of teenage heart break.

2) Kelis – Caught Out There

One of the only songs I know of that contains a reference to Valentine’s Day and the lyrics “I hate you so much right now”.

1) Twisted Sister – Love Is For Suckers

Originally part of a Dee Snider solo record, the title pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

Okay dear readers, feel free to add your suggestions to the list. We can always use a fresh batch of songs for next year.

Brent Chittenden

Brent Chittenden is a freelance writer with a gift for the geek. Currently a writer with A Journal Of Musical Things and a podcaster with True North Nerds, he's also written for Comic Book Daily, Explore Music and a dozen other places. Currently, he is the co-host of the True North Nerds podcast. You can find out more at www.facebook.com/bcchittenden

2 thoughts on “Top Ten Anti-Valentine’s Day Songs

  • February 7, 2014 at 1:02 pm
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    1. Offspring! “Self Esteem” “Now I know I’m being used, but that’s okay man ’cause I like the abuse. I know she’s playing with me, but that’s okay ’cause I’ve got no self esteem!”
    2. Offspring! “Get A Job” “My friend’s got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch…”
    3. Lit! “My Own Worst Enemy” “Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk, I didn’t mean to call you that! I can’t remember what was said, or what you threw at me…”
    Okay, still laughing at those words from “Lit”. Anyone else?

    Reply
  • February 7, 2014 at 2:18 pm
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    I love your choice of “She Hates Me” by Puddle Of Mud! “She fucking hates me! Trust, she fucking hates me! LaLaLaLa!” HaHaHaHa! I enjoyed hearing J. Geils Band again, went on to listen to “Centerfold” and “Freeze frame”. Good list, except for Eminem (Yuck! ;p)

    Reply

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