Top Ten Songs I Never Want To Hear Again

By Brent Chittenden

When I put together these top ten lists, I try to be objective. I realise that there is a lot of good and talented musicians in the world who just aren’t for me. The Tragically Hip for instance. I know a lot of people who like them , I can tell by the lyrics and musical arrangements that there is a large amount of talent at work in the band, they just don’t appeal to my musical sensibilities.

But, with today’s list, I ditch the objective hat and put on my venom helmet and spew hatred towards some music that should never be heard again. In the case of this list it’s based on a combination of over saturation, quality and general fire born hatred. It’s personally biased but for the most part, if you’re reading this, I imagine you will agree with me that these are the Top Ten Songs That I Never Want To Hear Ever Again! (Please note, these are my opinions and not necessarily those of Alan Cross or this website)

10) Van Halen – New Tattoo

One of the most recent songs on my list by a band I actually like but this song is AWFUL. It was bad the first time I heard it and then it just got worse when rock radio in Ontario treated it like the second coming of Jesus for a while. I’d dig a hole to bury this song but it would go so deep, I’d be afraid it would just re-appear again on the other side of the world.

9) The Wallflowers – Heroes

I liked their album Bringing Down The Horse but there’s just something about this cover that irked me… and then radio made it worse. I  think it’s because it sounds like a Bowie song performed by someone really tired and not passionate about the tune.

8) Kenny G – Song Bird

Used and parodied so often that for some reason any time Kenny G’s name even comes up as a joke, I just want to punch something. It is a dentist drill to the ears, mainly because that’s Kenny G’s main source of air play is their offices.

7) John Secada – Just Another Day

When I was younger, my parents both listened to two different Toronto radio stations. My Dad mainly due to that particular station’s traffic forecast, my mom because she liked the music. For a good solid three or four months, you could set your watch based on when the song got played on either station.

6) Black Eyed Peas – I’ve Gotta Feeling

If I have to explain to you why this is on the list, we are not and probably won’t be friends.

5) Los del Rio – Macarena

Let me share with you a small story. I was in high school when this song hit. It was played at a large number of school dances. There was a girl I was very fond of who would dance to this song. Not even bouncing boobs and my teenage hormones (at the time) could make this palatable. Since then… yup still don’t want to hear it ever again. It is banned from my wedding.

4) Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On

This is the audio equivalent of dollar store cough syrup. It’s very sweet but yet isn’t very good. If you ever see me in a place and I catch the first few bars of this playing, I tend to leave audio range for a bit. I was ready not to hear it again after the Titanic hit number one it’s first week let alone the weeks that followed.

3) Everlast – What It’s Like (RADIO EDIT)

I really like the original version of this song but the radio edit is just offensive. It sounds like a Looney Toons sound effects disc exploded over it. I cringe every time I hear it.

2) Hoobastank – The Reason

The only band that has a name that kind of sums up my feelings for one of their songs. It’s a song that really sounds like it’s pandering. It was over played for a long time and if I never hear it again after this post, I’ll be happy.

1) Counting Crows – Mr. Jones

It was overplayed, then we got a break and then a bit of nostalgia picked it back up again and dusted it off for a while. It’s a song that’s trying too hard to be cool for me, it’s like a hipster personified in song and that combined with over-saturation just makes me want to hit the song with a bat like it was Joe Pesci in Casino.

So dear listeners, this is my list, what’s yours? Go to the comment section below and release your hate. It’s good for you, I swear.

Brent Chittenden

Brent Chittenden is a freelance writer with a gift for the geek. Currently a writer with A Journal Of Musical Things and a podcaster with True North Nerds, he's also written for Comic Book Daily, Explore Music and a dozen other places. Currently, he is the co-host of the True North Nerds podcast. You can find out more at www.facebook.com/bcchittenden

21 thoughts on “Top Ten Songs I Never Want To Hear Again

  • February 1, 2013 at 2:49 pm
    Permalink

    I won't bother you with ten. One that sends me running is "We Built This City", by a once good band. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 3:19 pm
    Permalink

    "Shout" by Tears For Fears. One summer my brother and his friends played it non-stop and what's worse, every time a new friend came around they would bring up the "Scream Therapy" thing the song is based on and discuss it at the length. I like TFF but this song damaged me beyond repair.

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 3:21 pm
    Permalink

    i'm not even going to break it down to songs.

    Here's some BANDS I never want to hear again.

    Sublime – every douchebag that smokes a joint and now thinks they're hip & cool treats these guys like the second coming. Listening to Sublime and smoking weed doesn't make you a badass. Go back to your Cavalier or Honda Civic and leave the windows up so I can't hear your crap.

    Tragically Hip – I don't get it. Boring songs, boring live show, pretentious frontman. I think the fans are worse. People find out I'm nto a fan and it's like when a stranger walks into the saloon. Silence. More silence. People are stunned that a Canadian can possibly hate The Hip. I'd get les reaction kicking a baby.

    Eminem, Daniel Wesley Band – see my reasoning for Sublime, apply here.

    I'm sure there are more. Too annoyed with the ones I've listed to think straight right now.

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 3:52 pm
    Permalink

    I used to work in an office that only listened to Top40 stations. I'd try to get things on to retro (like Boom) or jazz (like JazzFM) or anything else, but was generally overruled. There are some popular songs right now that actively drive me to self-harm (usually a head-desk). Primarily anything by Drake or Nicki Minaj. Most things by Black Eyed Peas, too.

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 4:03 pm
    Permalink

    Ugh. Not too long ago I worked for the federal government. The end of my career there began when they forcibly moved me to an office that was a 1.5 hour commute away from home.

    The worst part though was the lady in the cubicle next to me had pop radio on all day long. I used to keep a score card for each time these three songs were played. Average was eight times a day.

    1. Taio Cruz – Dynamite

    The fucking chorus is like accidentally grating your fingernails.

    2. Eminem/Rhianna – I Love the Way You Lie

    Somehow I've repressed this insipid shit so hard I can't even recall the tune now! Success!!

    3. Katy Perry – California Girls

    People run to remove sharp objects from my vicinity whenever this song comes on in fear of me shoving them through my ears again before she makes that warble for the chorus. So much hate for that song.

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 5:24 pm
    Permalink

    Tragically Hip – How is this band both Classic Rock and Alliterative Rock in Toronto

    Nickleback – Keep the nickle and leave me alone

    Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit and Come As You Are: I have nothing against the band I own the albums but I would like to be able to sit through them without pulling out my hair when these songs come on please play School or Love Buzz or Endless Nameless

    Green Day- I love this band or I did as a youth when American Idiot came out now I can not even look at that album.

    The A Team Ed Sheeran – I was shocked when he won best new artist at the brits and he album is good but the overstateration has taken my enjoyment out of it

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 5:56 pm
    Permalink

    anything by journey, styx, foreigner or heart.

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 6:50 pm
    Permalink

    As a teen, we had one movie theatre in town (yes, I know, and I walked up hill, both ways to school…), and they insisted on playing one of two albums while the movie was about to begin.
    – Best of Bryan Adams (I don't hate the guy, I've just heard enough Adams for a lifetime)
    – Wilson Philips (If I EVER have to hear HOLD ON one more time….I swear….I will not be responsible).

    Great list Brent!

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 7:05 pm
    Permalink

    Oasis covered Heroes on the Bside to D'you Know What I mean and did far better than Dylan's son, who let's be honest…would be nowhere without that name.

    How did Mustang Sally not make anyone's list?

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 9:07 pm
    Permalink

    Can we all agree on Gangnam Style!!!

    Reply
  • February 1, 2013 at 10:17 pm
    Permalink

    Because I play a lot of cover shows I often end up never wanting to hear songs again that I've been asked to play a million billion times. Here are a few.

    Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd > it was bad enough before Kid Rock smashed it together with the piano lick from Werewolves of London and turned it somehow into something worse.

    The Joker – Steve Miller Band > I am puzzled as to why this was popular to begin with.

    Free Falling – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers > Look, I don't mind Tom Petty, but this song has been over for years.

    Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) – Big and Rich > The worst part is the rest of their debut album is actually reasonably good, and while the band went on to be shitty for a while and then disappear forever, it's a shame this eyerolling redneck anthem endures as their only legacy.

    The Gambler – Kenny Rogers > Yeah. You DO gotta know when to walk away. You really do.

    Reply
  • February 2, 2013 at 2:26 am
    Permalink

    For me, it has got be Green Day's Wake Me Up When September Ends. It is horrible.

    Reply
  • February 2, 2013 at 2:41 am
    Permalink

    Anything from Steve Miller Band. All sounds the same monotone.

    AC-DC – Same as above.

    Anything from Pink – it generally falls into two categories: (1) I'm a rebel and I do what I want do fuck you! I apologize for NOTHING! and (2) I was obnoxious last night (and every other night I'm not in apology mode) – sorry.

    Song 2 by Blur – I like Blur, but I've seen enough goals scored at the hockey rink, I guess.

    Barrett's Privateers. I'm from Nova Scotia. and this song has left me a broken man on a Halifax p… wait a sec…

    Tragically Hip – It's been covered; apparently you can't be Canadian and not a Hip fan…

    Creedence Clearwater Revival. Just let it go.

    The Eagles. See CCR.

    Reply
  • February 2, 2013 at 3:08 am
    Permalink

    My Heart Will Go On. Hallmark greeting card lyrics, over singing to the max.
    Another One Bites the Dust, Queen goes disco. Wish they hadn't,
    I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. Love Aerosmith but what a sappy piece of shit.
    Safety Dance. Eek.
    Emotional Rescue. The Stones at their worst.
    You're Beautiful. Whiny, annoying. She's gone. Shut up about it.
    Artists whose songs generally make me cringe or at least change the station: The Hip, REO Speedwagon, Creed, Rod Stewart after 1975.

    Reply
  • February 2, 2013 at 3:27 am
    Permalink

    Fuck.
    I thought I was kinda cool until I realized that I have 4 out of the ten songs on my jukebox.
    Great list though!

    Davester.

    Reply
  • February 2, 2013 at 4:39 am
    Permalink

    I don't have a list of songs to give you. I just wanted to say, "Thanks Brent, now I have the perfect music mix to give you on CD for your next birthday and or other gift giving event." (You do still listen to CDs right?

    Reply
  • February 2, 2013 at 5:09 am
    Permalink

    Wow it's great to see the Hip comments on here (or as a guy from Kingston once told, no we call them Trag as in hey man it's the new Trag…ok) Anyways, I thought I was the only one, boring bar band that got big for some reason and have done nothing for the Canadian music scene as whenever they leave the country they're back to playing the small clubs and the only bands I ever see siting them as an influence are other bar bands. Pretty sure the line from Sloans Coax Me, it's not the and I hate it's their fans, was written for them to as I've seen some of the biggest dicks at hip shows, mostly just people who want to drink and show everyone what a cool hip fan they are. sheesh what rant that turned into.

    Reply
  • February 2, 2013 at 10:28 am
    Permalink

    So many to choose from… I have a warm hate spot in my heart for overplayed 90s songs and much of what gets inexplicably labelled 'alternative' nowadays, but instead of a list I'll focus this morning's rage at OMC's 'How Bizarre'. Ok, it only hit 44 in Canada, but was top ten in their native New Zealand. Classic 90's annoyance song that shouldn't have gotten more than one spin.

    Reply
  • February 3, 2013 at 8:50 am
    Permalink

    I thing the one song I would have added is Meatloaf – I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) this song still haunts me, this song got so over played not funny. ever time i here it I what to take a knife and stabs my ear drums and make the pain go away and Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On fin that build too

    Reply
  • February 3, 2013 at 2:37 pm
    Permalink

    "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. After Family Guy, it became karaoke fodder and everyone's favourite bar song. (You could probably do another entire list of songs ruined by drunken karaoke)

    Ditto for the most well-known Johnny Cash songs: I'm sorry to say. Too many people who think they're cool for queuing up "Fulsome Prison Blues" and "Walk the Line" on the jukebox REPEATEDLY, EVERY WEEK. I still enjoy them on occasion, but mostly I prefer to hear his other work.

    Also, "Fortunate Son" by CCR, which was massively over-played on the local classic rock station, who seemed ignorant of the fact that the band had many, many other amazing songs to choose from. ("Someday Never Comes" is my fav, but I don't think I've ever heard it on the radio)

    I would have chosen "Get It Started" by The Black Eyed Peas as the more annoying one, but that's just me. I only enjoy "I Got a Feeling" if I'm drunk and on a dance floor. ;P

    Reply
  • February 3, 2013 at 3:37 pm
    Permalink

    Some additional annoying songs: apologies for spelling singers' names wrong
    1) Bryan Adams song where he sings "I'm ready to love you" repetitively for 5 phuqin' minutes
    2) Adelle "someone like you" : why want to meet someone like him if he's not into you?
    3) Gotya or Goyta? "someone that I used to know" : lyrics by a disturbed oppressive misogynist
    4) Police "every breath you take:" : stalkers' theme

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.