Weekly survey: What songs would you use to torture a neighbour over a perceived slight?

Bill Gross is a tech billionaire annoyed with his tech entrepreneur neighbour, Mark Towfiq. At issue is a glass sculpture on Towfiq’s property that Gross says is ugly and is ruining his view. Complaints to the local civic authorities have gone nowhere, so Gross decided to do something, well, gross.

Towfiq’s property was bombarded by the theme from Gilligan’s Island on a loop, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I haven’t followed up on the outcome of this audio assault, but it did give me an idea for this week’s survey.

First, please don’t try this at home. It’s just a thought experiment. But if you had to resort to this kind of offensive, what song would you use on your uncooperative neighbour? It has to be annoying at best and sheer torture at worst. Here are some suggestions:

  • The Barney the Dinosaur theme
  • Crazy Frog
  • Aqua’s “Barbie Girl
  • “Baby Shark”
  • Any Norwegian black metal

Whaddaya got?

Alan Cross

is an internationally known broadcaster, interviewer, writer, consultant, blogger and speaker. In his 40+ years in the music business, Alan has interviewed the biggest names in rock, from David Bowie and U2 to Pearl Jam and the Foo Fighters. He’s also known as a musicologist and documentarian through programs like The Ongoing History of New Music.

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5 thoughts on “Weekly survey: What songs would you use to torture a neighbour over a perceived slight?

  • Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground

    • The song that never ends

  • NIN – Head like a Hole because I would love it and he would hate it!

  • Anything by Mariah Carey where she does that mult-octave wailing for no reason. Ugh


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