Once the Super Bowl is out of the way this Sunday (Go Falcons!) attention will turn to the Grammy Awards the following week. Frankly, I could care less who wins or who’s performing. I’m all about the salacious stuff and the bitching. And the goody bag, of course.
No one appears at the Grammys for free. They have to be bribed in that perverse way rich people are given things for free. Here’s what they’ll find in the Grammy goody bag in 2017.
- A week-long trip to the Golden Door Spa in California (MSRP: $8,850)
- A nicely crafted lampshade from Japan
- Assorted examples of jewelry.
- Two free hours of DJ service from DJ Spark
- Special exercise shows co-developed by Yumilo Sumida Jackson, one of Michael Jackson’s dancers.
- A gourmet dessert kit.
- Various skincare and haircare products.
- A hula hoop fitness workout program
- A print of original artwork.
- A butt massager (it’s apparently good for getting rid of cellulite).
- A selection of games from Hasbro including Toilet Trouble.
- A six-ounce can of Blue Diamond almonds
- A 64-colour box of Crayola crayons
Here’s the full list.