How Cold is It in Manitoba Right Now? There’s a Song About That.

On my way to catch a flight home from Winnipeg, I pulled into a Co-Op gas station on Route 90 just south of Inkster to fill up my rental car. Given that the dashboard on my Hyundai Accent told me that it was -24F (-31C; I couldn’t figure out how to change the units), I wasn’t looking forward to gassing up. My mom took great delight in telling me that the windchill was -44.

Just as I was about to get out of the car, a creature in what appeared to be a lunar spacesuit toddled over and said “Welcome to Co-Op! How much gas would you like?”

Wait. A full-serve gas station? At these temperatures? Think your job sucks?

Turns out the guy couldn’t be friendlier. And from what I could tell of his accent and eyes (the man was bundled up beyond belief), he appeared to be from the Philippines. Dude: you are a long, long way from home.

  • It has been cold in Manitoba over the last week. How cold was it? So cold that…
  • …if you don’t plug in your car (all vehicles are equipped with block heaters) that your engine oil will turn to tar, making it impossible to start.
  • …once you do get it started, you have to let it run for at least 15 minutes so the seats don’t shock your ass into instant hemorrhoids.
  • …it takes another 15 minutes of driving to warm up the tired enough so that they don’t have a frozen flat spot.
  • …people went inside to hockey games to warm up.
  • …the local news carried stories about how there were areas on Mars that were warmer.
  • …White Walkers came in, shook their heads and kept heading south.
  • Manitobans were complaining it was too cold.
“C’mon, Manitoba! I mean, WTF? Why do you insist on living here?”

Time for a song. (Via the CBC and Tom)

Alan Cross

is an internationally known broadcaster, interviewer, writer, consultant, blogger and speaker. In his 40+ years in the music business, Alan has interviewed the biggest names in rock, from David Bowie and U2 to Pearl Jam and the Foo Fighters. He’s also known as a musicologist and documentarian through programs like The Ongoing History of New Music.

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