Gene Simmons Will Personally Deliver a Massive Box Set to Your House. Naturally, It’s Not Cheap.

Over the years, KISS has licensed their name and image for over 7,000 products (or so Gene Simmons told me), ranging from trinkets that cost a few dollars to things like pinball machines and coffins(!) worth thousands.

Pish. That’s nothing compared to The Vault Experience.

Weighing in the same as a medium dog, the box offers “the ultimate fan an unforgettable journey chronicling The Demon’s colorful life, including 150 never-before-released songs, photos, stories and a collectible item all held inside a 38-lb (17 kg) vault.”

If you choose to go with the ultimate version–The Home Experinece–Gene will hand-deliver the box to your house and hang around for two hours.

Launching December 2017 in the U.S. and in cities around the world, the Home Experience includes a personal delivery of THE VAULT to the fan’s home by Simmons himself; one of the first 300 limited edition numbered VAULTs; two hours with Simmons at the fan’s home (or location of their choice) for a special event with up to 25 friends and family; photos, videos and autographs; an intimate “Songs & Stories” playback session and Q&A with Gene; and a VAULT Pre-Pack* for all guests in attendance.

How much? Just $50,000 USD. Yes, that’s correct. Fifty. Thousand. Dollars.

Okay, so that’s a little much. But if you can afford $25,000, you can get The Executive Producer’s Experience.

Kicking off in New York on September 15, the Executive Producer’s Experience will be available in cities around the world until November 2017, and is the quintessential experience for the devoted fan, plus a guest. The Executive Producer’s experience includes an initial SKYPE call with Simmons; a one-hour private studio preview with Simmons, offering the opportunity to listen to tracks before they are released; a distinguished Executive Producer credit on every VAULT; a photo, video and autograph opportunity with Gene; one of the first 500 limited-edition numbered VAULTs; and a VAULT Pre-Pack*

But if you don’t need Gene at your house breathing fire and spitting blood, you can just have it delivered in the normal FedEx/UPS/DHL sort of way and save between $23,000 and $48,000.

• 150 never-before-released tracks written and performed by Simmons, and featuring notable rock and roll artists, including members of KISS past and present.
• Packaged in a massive 12” x 12” x 6” leather-bound commemorative book containing dozens of never-before-seen images of Simmons throughout his 50-year career
• These unreleased tracks are exclusive to THE VAULT and will not be available in other physical or digital configurations
• Limited-edition collectibles including a Gene Simmons non-makeup action figure and an “In Gene We Trust” oversized medallion A one-of-a-kind, hand-selected original piece of memorabilia from Gene’s personal collection
• A one-of-a-kind, hand-selected original piece of memorabilia from Gene’s personal collection. (That could be anything from “coooooool!” to “eeeewwwww!”)

I’ve been offered an in-person interview with Gene next week. Let’s see it happens.

The full press release can be found here.

UPDATE: Gene would like to clarify a few things.