Rolling Stone recently did a poll where they named their readers listed the worst bands of the 90’s and quite frankly… what were these readers smoking?
Dave Mathews Band? Nirvana? I’m not huge fans of either but I thought to myself “There has to be worse out there than these guys…. isn’t there?” This set me upon my quest for the week. Using the internet, facebook and a number of class mates from Bradford District High School’s graduating classes of 97, 98, and 99, I put together a much worse list of bands. There are a few duplications (there is some crap that is bound to make everyone’s list) but on a whole, I think I dredged a little deeper into the bowels of the 90’s to give you a true Top Ten Worst Bands Of The 90’s.
10) Crazy Town
The closing days of the 90’s gave us possibly one of the worst rap / metal… things. Crazy Town were annoying, not particularly talented or original, they kind of sounded like the stupid love child of a drunk boinking between Limp Bizkit and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Yet despite their obvious suckage, they somehow managed to sell 2.5 MILLION copies of their debut album The Gift of Game.
9) Serial Joe
To be fair, I doubt Rolling Stone readers have any idea who this band was as they were kind of popular in Canada for about fifteen minutes. What I remember the most was the fact most critics focused on their ages (I think the oldest member was 16 or something) and for whatever reason, this seemed to give them a pass with reviewers. I’m sorry, the music was generally crap.
8) Blind Melon
This is the one I might get in a trouble for. I think sometimes the tragic death of a band member colours our perceptions of them. Don’t get me wrong, all were decent players but it just seemed like they were an above average band that was pretty much slumming it with crappy music.
7) Ace of Base
I am of the opinion that Ace of Base is part of Sweden’s reboot of what I call The Abba Project. In a nutshell, it’s my theory that Sweden tries to lull the rest of the world in to a sense of false security with crappy dance music. Abba was the first try and it but when that version failed for unknown reasons, the Swedes went back to the board and tried again with much less success with this drek.
If I have to explain to you why this is bad, you probably should be reading the rest of this list. They are from Holland. Yes, are. Despite their discography of awful, they are still around.
5) The Presidents of the United States of America
Remember that crappy band you watched in high school? They were made up of those three weirdos from music class and their instruments were kind of second hand and slightly busted. Now imagine these same guys ten or fifteen years after high school but instead of getting better like say a band like Ween, they just continued to play crappy music that was only catchy due it being weird and in reality it wasn’t very good. That is the Presidents. They suck.
4) Methods of Mayhem
Their first album came out in December of 1999 which combined hip-hop, metal and nu-metal into a big steaming pile of garbage. All of the reviews I could find on this craptcaular experiment from Tommy Lee were very middle of the road… I’ll assume because they thought Tommy Lee might punch them.
3) Kid Rock
This is sort of a technicality but it’s got merit so stick with me. I think Kid Rock’s 98 breakthrough album Devil Without A Cause is decent for what it was. I also think Kid Rock is a talented guy. Unfortunately for us, Only God Knows Why became a massive hit and thus ended up shaping his career from then on with terrible album after terrible album that people are still buying. So while I think his 90’s output was alright, the massive spill off from it of just plain bad albums makes him show up at number three.
2) Limp Bizkit
URGH. Where to start. Limp Bizkit features some smart minds and a few good musicians, musically, they aren’t bad for what they are (and let’s face it, Wes Borland is a solid guitarist) but then lyrics are delivered… and they sound like they were written by the guy who laughs at his own farts but can still kind of rap… not very well mind you but he can find words that rhyme… sort of… see theabove vidvideo fNookie. Anyhoo the band also ushered in a deluge of similar nu-metal and rap metal bands which just clogged music up for a few months with just bad stuff. Papa Roach, Staind, I’m looking in your general direction. All of this adds up to Limp Bizkit being number two on our list.
You knew it was coming and true, Creed are in the same spot as the Rolling Stone list but here’s the entire reason I’ve put them on the list.
They are the only band I’ve ever heard of that got sued because they sucked.
By their own fans.
True story, a small group of fans filed a lawsuit against Creed due to the band being terrible during a live gig. And this wasn’t some frivolous multi million dollar lawsuit, these guys just wanted their ticket’s refunded and gas money.
As a side note, Kid Rock has stated a few times that the only thing he really regrets is the fact that he appears in a groupie sex tape alongside Scott Stapp.
That kind of says something doesn’t it?
On a whole, Creed are also responsible for opening the door for a ton of other like minded poop stains like everyone’s favourite, Nickleback.
So now it’s your turn, who should have been on this list? Who did I miss? Who did I put on this list who doesn’t deserve my awful treatment of them? Please, let’s start the discussion in the comment section below.