Weekly survey: What is the worst album title of all time?
You’ve written all the songs and painstakingly recorded everything. Now it’s time to release this unified body of work as an album. But what do you call this collection?
Coming up with an album title can be devilishly difficult. The Beatles wanted to call the follow-up to Sgt. Pepper A Doll’s House but discovered at the last minute that someone else had already taken that title. They basically gave up at that point and just called it The Beatles. We call it “the white album.” They ran into the same issue with their last studio project. Macca wanted to call it Everest complete with a cover photo of the band at base camp in the Himalayas. That proved too difficult so they took some photos out on the street and called the record Abbey Road, the street on which you’ll find EMI Studio. After the album came out, the studio was re-named Abbey Road.
Do you number your records? Think Chicago who, the last time I looked, is now up to Chicago XXXVI. Or do you give up on titles entirely? That was the way Peter Gabriel went with his first four solo albums, each of which is officially called Peter Gabriel.
Other people just get stupid. The Butthole Surfers chose Locust Abortion Technician for their 1987 release. My estimate of Limp Bizkit went to new depths with the release of Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavoured Water. The spelling of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness will always bug me. And then we have the blatant punctuation abuse at the end of Guns N’ Roses’ The Spaghetti Incident?
So over to you: What’s your pick for the worst album title ever?
Primus album titles have always bugged me… I mean- Pork Soda? Sailing the Seas of Cheese? Really?
I love their music. but yeah, those titles are gross.
Weezer (blue album), Weezer (green album), and Weezer (red album) always awakens ancient feelings.
Get ready, Weezer (black album) is on it’s way. No joke.
Oh sweet Christmas
I always wanted to make an album called “Real Men Don’t Eat Sushi” after a line in an Ernest Goes To Camp movie…
“My People Were Fair and Had Sky in Their Hair… But Now They’re Content to Wear Stars on Their Brows”, by T. Rex
“Lick My Decals Off, Baby” by Captain Beefheart.
Moe by Lester
Fiona Apple’s “When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might so When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right”
Anything by the Scorpions
Growing up a Metal Head with all my skid buddies, what pained us most was when a band had a string of KILLER album titles that you could wear as a badge of pride on those old metal tees with the three-quarter length white sleeves… and then the same cool band would release a completely “huh?” album title that made you think twice about ever repping the band again. Examples: Van Halen. “Women and Children First”. Awesome. “Fair Warning”. Awesome. “Diver Down”. Awesome. “1984”. Awesome. “OU812”. Huh? Or AC/DC. “High Voltage”. Awesome. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”. Awesome. “Powerage”. Awesome. “Back in Black”. Awesome. “Blow Up Your Video”. Huh?? Or Iron Maiden. “Killers”, “Number of the Beast”, “Piece of Mind” and “Powerslave”. All awesome. “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son”. Huh? What? I couldn’t go on. And on. And on. The eerie point? When the album names got bad, so did the music. I’ll never forgive Judas Priest for “Turbo”.
I always thought that Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” was the high point of tacky, and not in an “it’s so tacky it’s good” kinda way. Not surprising when their first album was called “Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich”…
“The Deuce Is Loose” by Doucette. Yuck. The jokes kind of write themselves, don’t they?
Shakespeare, My Butt – great album – horrible album name!
The kinks are the village green preservation society. Love Gun makes me snicker.
Pete Townshend’s third solo album, All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes. A bit of a head scratcher.
“I Don’t Want What l Haven’t Got” by Sinead O’Connor or perhaps “Tatooed Millionaire” by Bruce Dickinson…
Surely “Smell the Glove” is the greatest name, discussion over.
“Ship arriving to late to save a drowning witch” Terrible. But actually… brilliant. Frank Zappa
As Heavy as a Really Heavy Thing by Devin Townsend has to be the worst album title ever. At least up there
Limp Bizkit…Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water….awful….awful.
Van Halen – OU812
2003 album by Sinéad O’Connor: She Who Dwells in the Secret Place of the Most High Shall Abide Under the Shadow of the Almighty