Over the weekend, I had a chance to take a spin through the Pink Floyd exhibit called Their Mortal Remains at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London. Like the Bowie show a couple of years ago, it was a chance to see some of the actual artefacts from the last 50-odd years of Floyd.
Among the notebooks, sketches, lyric sheets, sheet music and other written material was this document outlining Pink Floyd’s Ten Tour Commandments.
1. THOU SHALT NOT BE TARDY: Please observe all call times. Whether it is a baggage call, lobby time, rehearsals, or particularly showtime, be punctual. Don’t make the many wait for the few.
2. THOUGH SHALT NOT BE UN-LAMINATED: Laminates should be treasured, never loaned, left behind or lost. They are issued in good faith and for your own protection and convenience. Guests will be issued stick-on passes. Please ask your guests not to bring cameras or recorder.
3. THOU SHALT NOT BE OVERWEIGHT: Members of the band party will be issued with baggage tags and are requested to keep their luggage down to 2 pieces each. Travel lean and light!
4. THOU SHALT NOT DUCK DUTY: When departing a hotel, report to the front desk and check out, taking care of your incidentals. Even if you have no charges, you have to check out. Always allow sufficient time for this to do this and still be punctual for our departure.
5. THOU SHALT NOT FEED THE MASSES: The catering facility is for touring personnel only. It is not a free restaurant for family, friends or current flights of fancy. Meals will only be served to laminate holders.
6. THOU SHALT NOT FREE THE WORLD: There are NO complimentary tickets. All tickets must be purchased. Please contact Juliette well in advance with your requirements to ensure satisfaction.
7. THOU SHALT NOT GO ON WALKABOUT: If any member of the band party needs to leave the main body of the group at any time, day or night, he or she must ensure that Management knows and is furnished with contact numbers if available.
8. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT OVERLOAD: Do not assume that friends and family on the bus for transport. Ensure the embarrassment and bad vibes are avoided by having your guests make their own travel arrangements.
9. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT PUBLIC DEPRESSION: Try and keep your moans, groans, depression, personal problems and pessimistic observations to yourself as nobody wants to hear it.
10. THOU SHALL BE OBEDIENT: Do as you’re told or you’ll get a clump.