A modern twist on something from a song released in 1979. Will you accept the challenge that comes with it?

In the fall of 1979, a singer name Rupert Holmes released a single entitled “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” It told the story of a man who was bored enough with his current relationship that he was perusing the personal ads (remember those?) for some–ahem–extracurricular activity.

He stumbles upon an ad from a woman who wrote:

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed
And in the personals column, there was this letter I read
“If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me, and escape”

Intrigued, he answers back with a personal ad of his own in which he proposes a meet-up at a bar called O’Malleys. But when the encounter happens, he’s shocked that the woman who placed the personal ad was his current girlfriend. She was similarly shocked.


But this story has a happy ending of sorts. The couple laugh about it and turn this awkward situation into a teachable moment, presumably leading to them living together happily ever after.

I was reminded by this story in The Daily Mail when a man found himself matched with his wife on Tinder.

Here’s your challenge: Write an updated version of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” for the 21st century.

Alan Cross

is an internationally known broadcaster, interviewer, writer, consultant, blogger and speaker. In his 40+ years in the music business, Alan has interviewed the biggest names in rock, from David Bowie and U2 to Pearl Jam and the Foo Fighters. He’s also known as a musicologist and documentarian through programs like The Ongoing History of New Music.

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